After the doctor said it was ALS
and we scheduled the EMG and Nerve conductivity test to confirm two days later,
I left to go back to work. I pulled into a McDonalds on the way back to work to
cry, to ugly cry. I’m not a cryer. At least I think I’m not a cryer but my husband
might disagree. I’m not saying crying isn’t necessary but is best done in the
shower or when in the car by yourself. When my dad’s diagnosis was confirmed by
his first neurologist via EMG I asked him, to the side afterwards, how long we
had. He looked so somber. He knew he missed it the last couple appointments
because he hadn’t done a physical exam and seen the muscle fibrillation that
covered his back and upper arms. He knew it was out of his area of expertise.
He knew it was NOT a diagnosis we were expecting. He knew that the progression in
the last few months was not a good sign of how things would progress. His answer
to my question was medical in nature but the look on his face explained a lot. Too
much. There was no 3 to 5 years that you see when you research the disease on
google. So I pushed him further, a year? No answer. Just a face full of expression.
I wasn’t a huge fan of this
neurologist until this encounter. Not that he wasn’t good, if you have
Parkinson’s, this is the office to go to. The look in his face, the pain and
sorrow in his face, made him one of my favorite doctors to this day. He had
compassion. He had empathy. He knew what was coming. But there was another McDonalds parking lot
ugly crying event on the way back to work that day.
Thought? Comment? Question? Comment on the blog.
ALS sucks by the way.
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